A letter to my future self

It’s 05:57 PM, 11th of February, 2026. I am in a coffee shop in Marylebone. Listening to Sade’s “Like A Tattoo” and sipping the green tea. The coffee shop is not crowded, people are sitting in pairs. It’s raining outside. It makes me miss the sun, the sun at home. Before coming here I was at Daunt Books, one of my favorite places, and of course I bought a book. It is a sin to leave that shop without a book. The name of the book is Picture of Dorian Gray. It is about a man, who is afraid to look at his own soul. It reminded me of my myself.

As it is a letter to my future, I wonder where you are and how you look. Are you sitting somewhere in the South of France. Looking down on me, oh how much I would want that. Regardless of the place, I hope this life hasn’t consumed your whole soul yet.

I have 2 regrets so far, I hope that number didn’t surpass 10.

I hope getting old is not as scary as I thought. I hope… just a second, let me refill my cup of tea. The green tea tastes so nice right now. I hope you remember how it tasted. I know that your memory, specifically our memory stamps random unnecessary stuff forever, may this moment be one of them.

I hope you achieved your one big dream. The only one that lies deep down your heart. If you didn’t achieve it then I hope you found enough strength to forgive yourself.

Fourth cup of tea.

I can only think of career right now. What else is there to ask, old man.

Oh yeah. Wifey. I hope you have a beautiful wife. I doubt you could do that though. At this moment it is impossible for me to get a good girl. If you have one, then you are forgiven for your failure. Your social behaviour can only be fixed by being reborn I think

It is not a big disappointment. I hope you became mature about it. Because the way you deal with problems right now reminds me of an 8 year old boy dealing with problems.

I am about to finish uni. A whole life ahead of me, as they say. I don’t know how “whole” it would be, at least I hope it wasn’t empty

It is boring, let’s get a little bit rough. You know what I wish most. I wish that you don’t miss me. I really hope you don’t miss this moment.

I hope you stopped running from responsibilities. I hope you stopped hating yourself over simple things. I hope you accepted yourself

You are not special. You are ordinary. Just an average person.

I hope you didn’t forget that Will outweighs the Education. It is more about the questions than answers.There is no learning for the sake of learning, I hope it finally clicked to you. Competition exists, but nobody wins here. Everyone loses. It just about how much one can bear. None of the books you have read matters. Neither the whole act of reading itself. You do it so that you feel good about yourself. To delay the guilt. The guilt that comes from not achieving anything. Not being worthy to anything. You are way off than you realize. Universe is smaller than the distance between you and your goals. And here you are wishing impossible things, how hypocritical you are.

I don’t know. I hope you changed. I hope you made the distance smaller. I hope you did something. I hope you said something. I hope you saved me, saved us

Lastly, I hope the Picture of You shows the same kid that thought he could do big things

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